06 Nov Have you ever wondered: “Why does this keep happening to me?”
Have you ever found yourself wondering: “Why does this keep happening to me?” Call it what you will: Karma, consequences, what goes around comes around, The Law of Cause and Effect…..the reality is that what you can justify doing to others, comes back to you.
The key word in that statement is “Justify”. That’s the trap door.
It’s easy to identify how you’ve been wronged by others. It’s probably very clear to you as to why what they did was wrong, should never have happened, and why accountability and reparations are needed.
However, where things get blurry is when you can come up with a list of reasons why you feel justified doing the same thing to someone else. It’s important to note that it might not be the identical action, but the over-arching theme is the same, and that’s what counts.
You see, the Universe takes note of that. When it sees you investing your time and energy in a behaviour, it says: “Okay, here’s someone who likes this behaviour so much they are doing it to others. I will send them more of it.”
As a result, you’ll attract more of these unwanted experiences to you and find yourself thinking “Why does this keep happening to me?” Once you understand that you are creating your Reality, you’ll see that this really is a form of Self-Sabotage: when your thoughts, words and actions are not aligned with your goals.
Healthy Boundaries must include this
There’s a lot of talk these days about having Boundaries, and I’m really happy about that BUT having healthy Boundaries isn’t only about what others do to you. It’s also, and importantly, about how you treat yourself and others.
****Every time you can justify doing to yourself and others what you wouldn’t want someone doing to you, you are essentially putting more money in that very painful merry-go-round ride and going around again. And each time you go around, you draw to you more of the same experiences that have hurting you throughout your life.
Deepak Chopra describes The Law of Cause and Effect like this: “Every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in like kind. What we sow is what we reap. And when we choose actions that bring happiness and success to others, the fruit of our karma is happiness and success.”
He goes on to suggest the following steps for making wise choices, ones that do not violate ourselves or others:
- Today I will witness the choices I make in each moment. And in the mere witnessing of these choices, I will bring them to my conscious awareness. I will know that the best way to prepare for any moment in the future is to be fully conscious in the present.
- Whenever I make a choice, I will ask myself two questions: “What are the consequences of this choice that I’m making?” and “Will this choice bring fulfillment and happiness to me and also to those who are affected by this choice?”
- I will then ask my heart for guidance and be guided by its message of comfort or discomfort. If the choice feels comfortable, I will plunge ahead with abandon. If the choice feels uncomfortable, I will pause and see the consequences of my action with my inner vision. This guidance will enable me to make spontaneously correct choices for myself and for all those around me.
Become a Conscious Creator
To get off this merry-go-round, to become the Conscious Creator of your life, you need to stop doing to yourself and others, what you wouldn’t want others doing to you. Pure and Simple.
In a world where so much seems out of our control, this is not difficult to do. All you have to do is PAUSE before you speak, act, press ‘Send’ etc. Center yourself. Ask yourself whether what you are about to say/do is aligned with the highest version of yourself and the life you want to create. Do not act until you are in alignment with these.
This is Emotional Maturity.
This is Integrity.
This is Evolution.
Great Resources
1. You can read more about the Law of Cause and Effect and other Laws in Deepak Chopra’s book: The 7 Spiritual Laws of Success
2. Mind Valley has a great post on Self-Sabotage: The Mystery of Self-sabotage: What it is and How to stop doing it
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Thank you for taking time to read this post! The right information at the right time is a most powerful catalyst for change. For Coaching, Workshops or an Inspiring Talk on this valuable topic, contact me!
Kristina Jansz, Life Skills and Empowerment Strategies 705 794-9900 | [email protected]
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