15 Jul Break the cycle: Stop negative patterns from occurring in your life
Have you noticed negative, unhealthy patterns taking place in your life: The faces and places are different, but it’s the same story being told? It’s EXHAUSTING!
Imagine an architect who for many years has had a dream of building a spectacular home. The momentous day arrives when he has drawn the blueprint for the home and builds it. Then, to his horror, he finds that something is seriously wrong with the construction. There was a fault in the original design/blueprint and the home he has built is unlivable. He is crushed and devastated to the point where he rolls up the blueprint, puts it away and moves to another country. (A bit extreme, I know, but I’m making a point).
Years later, on a different continent, he’s standing outside, taking in an absolutely breathtaking view and the desire to build the beautiful home he once dreamed of, is reawakened. He thinks to himself “This time it will be different: A new location, new materials, a new crew. I’m really going to do it this time!!” He is elated, energized and filled with hope! He then goes to his files, pulls out the original blueprint for the house that he had put away years ago, and starts building the home.
What do you think is going to happen?…..
Exactly! The same thing is going to happen. The same flaw in the blueprint, the same problem in the building itself and the same feeling of devastation, made worse by the fact that it has now happened a second time. Why did this cycle repeat? Because he used the same blueprint with the same flaw in it.
Solve the Riddle
It’s easy to see the solution, right? He doesn’t have to give up on his dream. He doesn’t have to feel like a failure. He just has to change the blueprint. To fulfill his dream of building his beautiful home, he simply has to identify the error in the blueprint, correct it, and act on the correction.
It’s no different with your life. Truly. If there are negative patterns taking place in your life, don’t exhaust yourself to the point of losing hope, feeling like you’re not good enough and settling for less. Get down to the blueprint level of the negative pattern, identify the error in your belief system, make changes there, live according to the new belief and get the life you want.
Here’s how it works
Key point #1: Your beliefs make up your inner Blueprint. Beliefs such as:
- I’m not good enough, my needs don’t matter, things never work out for me, I can never get it right, I’m not worthy of being loved or accepted as I am
- Or, I believe in myself, I’m deeply deserving of being loved and respected, I can do anything, I’m always learning new ways of doing things better, I am surrounded by support
These types of beliefs, and so many more, both conscious and subconscious, weave together your inner Blueprint of Beliefs.
Key Point #2: The life you are currently living is a manifestation of your Blueprint of Beliefs. It is no different than the physical construction of the architect’s home being a manifestation of the his blueprint design.
Key Point #3: You can change your Blueprint of Beliefs. (Thank goodness!) To break a negative and unhealthy pattern in your life:
- Identify the negative pattern
- Identify the belief at root/blueprint level of the behaviour that keeps you in this pattern
- Make changes to that belief so that it is aligned with the life you want
- Engage in positive, constructive behaviors to create a new pattern.
You’ve noticed a pattern of unhealthy relationships in your life.
- Name the negative pattern: I keep getting into relationships with people who don’t care about my feelings and needs. It’s all about them. I give and give, and get nothing back.
- Identify the beliefs that cause you to attract and stay in relationships like this: I’m not good enough to be loved as I am, I don’t want to be alone, my needs don’t matter, I’ll put my partner’s needs first so he/she doesn’t leave me.
- Engage in a process of deep healing and personal empowerment that helps you transform your fear-based beliefs into a very healthy sense of self worth.
- Learn highly effective skills that will make you much more confident at living life, whether on your own or with others.
Key takeaway: Don’t stay stuck in negative patterns that are sabotaging you from living the life you are meant to live. Break the cycle! Get unstuck. Shift. Change. GROW!
All change and evolution requires that you are willing to grow out of the state you were in. As long as you are willing, it can be done!!
Reach out for help
Sometimes you can be so close to your own issues that it’s difficult to see things clearly, in fact this is true for most people. So, don’t feel badly if you find yourself in this situation. Reach out and connect with a Counselor or Coach who can walk you through this process, and you’ll be on your way!
You may be interested in these posts
Thank you for taking time to read this post! The right information at the right time is a most powerful catalyst for change. For Coaching, Workshops or an Inspiring Talk on this valuable topic, please call me.
(c) Titans International Inc. Kristina Jansz 2019, 2020-2050
Waiver of Liability: This article is not meant to diagnose or to be a guide for self-diagnosis. The sole purpose of this article is strictly for educational purposes. This Waiver of Liability releases Kristina Jansz, Titans International Inc. and all its Representatives from any and all liability for and waive any and all claims for liability, injury, illness, loss, death, damages, expense, including lawyer’s fees, or other loss in any way connected with Ms Jansz’s Counseling/Coaching Programs, Workshops, Blog Posts and other Activities, whether or not caused in whole or in part by the negligence including gross negligence or other by Kristina Jansz, Titans International Inc. or its Representatives.